Friday, September 17, 2010

Men Working Ahead ...


Aunt Birdie Mae Poteet lazily arose from bed just as the early morning sun cast piercing beams of brilliant light through cracks in the antiquated Venetian blind ... songbirds cheerfully harmonized from Magnolia trees just outside her bedchamber as a pleasantly tepid breeze spilled into the room ... it was a glorious, late summer day ... a perfect day for Aunt Birdie Mae to don her best outfit, along with proper and matching shoes, bag and accessories ... and of course, one of her intricately fabricated hats ... and take a leisurely stroll into town for the explicit purpose of proudly showcasing her natural, pulchritudinous beauty ... well it took Birdie Mae the better part of the morning to attain the aforementioned level of resplendent comeliness, and now satisfied that her appearance equaled or exceeded that of royalty she set forth down the street toward town.

As Birdie proceeding along the way, her sharp, high-heeled shoes energetically striking the pavement with a clarion pop upon each footfall, she began to feel young again ... oh she knew she looked good ... real good as a matter of fact--even at her rarely heralded age ... but Birdie Mae couldn't help but wonder if she still had it ... when it came right down to it, could she still turn heads? ... could she still draw attention to herself? ... and not just from folks like Grandpa DooLittle or Uncle Virgil Hunnicutt--although it might be a telling accomplishment if one were to provoke a cursory glance from ol' Virgil now and again--considering the old man was all but blind! ... anyhow, ain't it funny how at times we often consider or envision some particular thing in our minds and it suddenly appears or becomes reality right there in front of us? ... as Birdie turned the corner there was this sign "MEN WORKING AHEAD" ... a great day was about to get better as Birdie Mae quickly retrieved a mirror from her faux, yet imported, Gucci handbag and prepared herself for the ultimate test--"construction workers!"

Now resolutely satisfied that she could look no better, Birdie Mae squared her shoulders, threw back her head and began anxiously sashaying up the street in the direction of those workers like a strutting peafowl ... a hint of sway influencing her gait ... as she neared the work site she got the sense that masculine eyes were following her like a pride of merciless lions stalking their hapless prey ... the pavement beneath her feet began to feel like she was treading on a billowy cloud at the welcome sound of thunderous catcalls and shrill whistles as she passed through a gauntlet of burly, bare-chested, musclebound young men ... ol' Birdie Mae Poteet still had it! ... she could still turn a man's head! ... just wait 'till Virgil Hunnicutt got wind of this, he just might look at her in a different light from then on ... oblivious to reality amidst her state of blissful euphoria, a construction supervisor wearing a white hardhat approached Miss Birdie Mae and politely extended a huge, calloused hand "may I help you ma'am?" ... now that Birdie had proven to herself that she was still quite the "head turner" she wanted to give the impression that she was more than taken aback and quite insulted by the mens' obnoxious behavior "yes indeed you may ... I assume from your forwardness that those men fall under your direct supervision ... that being said, I find their conduct to be atrocious, somewhat animalistic in nature and altogether indecorous, particularly in the presence of a genteel lady such as myself!" ... all work ceased as the now flummoxed men stood there staring dubiously at Aunt Birdie Mae until their supervisor at last replied "well ma'am they were only trying to warn you, nothing more ... and we'll all definitely apologize in just a moment ... but first ... may I help you out of that freshly poured, wet cement?!"


--sja
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27 comments:

PJ said...

Oh How funny! I can picture my self doing something that silly. Not the same way, but embarrassing myself none the less.

God Bless!
PJ

sja said...

Thanks PJ ... I can't wait to hear Birdie Mae's version of the story!

BOB said...

CAN YOU BEliEVE ... JUST GOT UP, literally ... taking baby sister and son to supper, mine not hers ... good story ... neat ... heehee!

goodun!

hottub time!

aims said...

LOL so funny!! loved it!!

sja said...

Thanks Bob ... I'll try to chat with you later ...

sja said...

Thank you Aims, visit often!

BOB said...

It is indeed a pleasure to read your scribblin's ... needed the laugh! I am often oblivious to what is going on around me, though I've stepped in wet cement but once and that was some I'd poured ... folks entering me room can give me a start, even when I have advance warning.

LATER!

sja said...

Goodness!

Juliana Matthews said...

very funny!
Gave just finished reading 'Daisy mae and the Miracle man' by Fannie Flagg. Your writing is so reminiscent of her - I can just hear the southern drawl - quite charming :)

sja said...

Thank you Juliana Matthews ... drop by often!

SOUL said...

I loved this. Nearly guffawed :) Einstein would be proud (RE: your quote over there <---) have a really good day

sja said...

Glad you got a laugh out of the post Soul, visit frequently ... and yes, ol' Einstein knew what he was talking about most of the time!

darpar said...

Thanks for the Twitter follow. Glad I found your website as a result. Love Birdie Mae!

sja said...

Glad you found TheSouthernJackAss too Darpar!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this link, but unfortunately it seems to be offline... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please answer to my post if you do!

I would appreciate if a staff member here at sja-stall.blogspot.com could post it.

Thanks,
James

Anonymous said...

Well, James, I have a mirror but it's broken and might bring you bad luck.

SJA, may I direct your attention to one sidebar widget that has 4 links. Check it out!

Thanks,

Bob

sja said...

Anonymous James ... there is no staff and there are no other links or sources, but plenty of mirrors ... take a long, hard look into one of those mirrors and then tell me if you are the spammer that incessantly attempts to post trash on my archived stories thus compelling me to institute comment moderation? ... I genuinely hope you're not, because I don't want to be further compelled to extend comment moderation to all posts ...

If you're not that spammer, you have my sincerest of apologies ... and you're more than welcome to drop by any time --sja

sja said...

Anonymous Bob, there are a couple of glitches with the widget ... I'll email you at the new email address with the details ...

BOB said...

Dang!

Anonymous is tough algebra, that's for sure. One + one don't always equal two ... in fact, it can even one.

I figure that if you can add something to itself and get itself, then it can't be nothing, which I guess it is!

SJA's got a staff ... goodness! Probably has a rod too! Maybe Uncle Virgil will teach him how to use it.

It's almost 10 ... and I ain't had me supper ... missed lunch too, but that's nothin' ... later

sja said...

Just so everyone will know ... Anonymous James is the aforementioned habitual spammer ... but his incessant comments are presently being trapped in Blogger's new user-unfriendly, optionless spam filter ... oh the cost of freedom, anyhow, good riddance!

Anonymous said...

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PJ said...

he SJA! I guess I'm kind of dense. I don't understand the "anonymous" bit. If you have to be anonymous, doesn't that mean you don't want people to know who you are? "Even if you have some sort of criticism be grown-up enough to own up to it. You can say it in a tactful way. My momma always taught me if you can't say somethin' nice don't say anything at all. Well, I'm pretty opinionated, but I always put my name. That way the person can come back and rebuke me if they like. That to me is the Christian and grown-up way to do things. Just my thoughts. By the way, how do you know if you have a spammer?
My naivete (spelling) is showing. LOL!
God Bless!
PJ

sja said...

PJ ... the aforementioned "anonymous" that I have often referred to has been incessantly posting comments consisting of lewd and pornographic material and links within his comments on nearly all of my archived stories--promoting and peddling everything from filthy tapes to p**** enlargement products--I don't think those who read my blog would appreciate having to sift through that kind of stuff ...

Consequently I began unwillingly requiring comment moderation for all posts older than 4 days ... this seemed to solve the problem for a time, but is an annoyance for decent readers ...

Then just recently this particular anonymous began posting his material on my current posts, of which I would promptly delete as soon as I discovered it, but that left it open for some folks to possibly still see his terrible comments ...

I was about to institute comment moderation for all posts when Blogger suddenly came up with a spam filter, which has amazingly caught "anonymous'" spam comments, and won't publish them unless they have my approval ...

I suppose my definition of a spammer is anyone who posts links or comments on other folks sites for the exclusive purpose of advertising, promoting or selling themselves or some product--free advertising in other words ... they aren't interested in reading your blog.

I hope this answer helps a bit, and if Blogger's spam filter continues to perform well, maybe I will feel comfortable discontinuing comment moderation all together --sja

sja said...

PJ, I forgot to add that I have always welcomed and encouraged discourse from all comers, whether it be negative criticism or something positive ... I feel that if I put something out there, then I should stand behind it.

Anonymous said...

Can I link to your post? easy scholarships

sja said...

Anonymous, you certainly may link to my post!

Anonymous said...

Good Afternoon

Definitely gonna recommend this post to a few friends