Friday, September 17, 2010
Men Working Ahead ...
Aunt Birdie Mae Poteet lazily arose from bed just as the early morning sun cast piercing beams of brilliant light through cracks in the antiquated Venetian blind ... songbirds cheerfully harmonized from Magnolia trees just outside her bedchamber as a pleasantly tepid breeze spilled into the room ... it was a glorious, late summer day ... a perfect day for Aunt Birdie Mae to don her best outfit, along with proper and matching shoes, bag and accessories ... and of course, one of her intricately fabricated hats ... and take a leisurely stroll into town for the explicit purpose of proudly showcasing her natural, pulchritudinous beauty ... well it took Birdie Mae the better part of the morning to attain the aforementioned level of resplendent comeliness, and now satisfied that her appearance equaled or exceeded that of royalty she set forth down the street toward town.
As Birdie proceeding along the way, her sharp, high-heeled shoes energetically striking the pavement with a clarion pop upon each footfall, she began to feel young again ... oh she knew she looked good ... real good as a matter of fact--even at her rarely heralded age ... but Birdie Mae couldn't help but wonder if she still had it ... when it came right down to it, could she still turn heads? ... could she still draw attention to herself? ... and not just from folks like Grandpa DooLittle or Uncle Virgil Hunnicutt--although it might be a telling accomplishment if one were to provoke a cursory glance from ol' Virgil now and again--considering the old man was all but blind! ... anyhow, ain't it funny how at times we often consider or envision some particular thing in our minds and it suddenly appears or becomes reality right there in front of us? ... as Birdie turned the corner there was this sign "MEN WORKING AHEAD" ... a great day was about to get better as Birdie Mae quickly retrieved a mirror from her faux, yet imported, Gucci handbag and prepared herself for the ultimate test--"construction workers!"
Now resolutely satisfied that she could look no better, Birdie Mae squared her shoulders, threw back her head and began anxiously sashaying up the street in the direction of those workers like a strutting peafowl ... a hint of sway influencing her gait ... as she neared the work site she got the sense that masculine eyes were following her like a pride of merciless lions stalking their hapless prey ... the pavement beneath her feet began to feel like she was treading on a billowy cloud at the welcome sound of thunderous catcalls and shrill whistles as she passed through a gauntlet of burly, bare-chested, musclebound young men ... ol' Birdie Mae Poteet still had it! ... she could still turn a man's head! ... just wait 'till Virgil Hunnicutt got wind of this, he just might look at her in a different light from then on ... oblivious to reality amidst her state of blissful euphoria, a construction supervisor wearing a white hardhat approached Miss Birdie Mae and politely extended a huge, calloused hand "may I help you ma'am?" ... now that Birdie had proven to herself that she was still quite the "head turner" she wanted to give the impression that she was more than taken aback and quite insulted by the mens' obnoxious behavior "yes indeed you may ... I assume from your forwardness that those men fall under your direct supervision ... that being said, I find their conduct to be atrocious, somewhat animalistic in nature and altogether indecorous, particularly in the presence of a genteel lady such as myself!" ... all work ceased as the now flummoxed men stood there staring dubiously at Aunt Birdie Mae until their supervisor at last replied "well ma'am they were only trying to warn you, nothing more ... and we'll all definitely apologize in just a moment ... but first ... may I help you out of that freshly poured, wet cement?!"
Posted by sja at 2:33 PM