Saturday, March 19, 2011
Monkey See--Monkey Won't Do! ...
Lamar Beefeater greeted his mother bright and early one Saturday morning with an unusual request "I wish to view all family photo albums if you please ... particularly those comprised of my earliest ancestors?" ... his mother stared dubiously at the anxious and seemingly troubled youngster as she submitted "why, you've seen them all previously on numerous occasions" ... Lamar continued to insist and was eventually granted access to every album, scrapbook and loose photo that could be found on the place ... "now explain your abrupt and earnest interest?" she demanded ... Lamar looked up at her with eager, searching eyes "I need to make sure none of 'em look like apes!" he announced ... then spent the larger part of the day doing just that.
From the very earliest of his formative years, Lamar Beefeater had proven to be a supremely meditative and opinionated young lad, determinedly set in his ways, and proficient at "readin', writin' and 'rithmetic" long prior to his introduction to the elementary levels of public education ... an individualistic "thinkin' man" of the first order ... shortly succeeding his immersion into the murky depths of the aforementioned didactic process, Lamar was out of the blue put upon by a profound academic stumbling block, which threatened to straightaway dash to pieces all basal thought and accepted instruction which he had up to then gleaned from the pages of either politically-sanctioned textbooks or from the mouths of schoolhouse pedagogues, and immediately scatter every bit of it to the four howling winds ... the burgeoning Lamar Beefeater was suddenly introduced to the ever-polemic "theory of evolution" of which he'd never heard before, and in a manner more attuned to that of fact rather than theory ... with a frown of dismay he raised his hand so as to address his instructor "what about 'The Good Book'? ... it don't say nothin' about us comin' from apes or monkeys ... it says we was created in God's image!" ... thunderstruck by Lamar's bold asseveration the schoolmarm authoritatively replied "well Lamar, evolution is presented in your textbook as but one of many scientific theories, not as fact" ... the puzzled student continued "and what are the other theories?" ... edging ever closer to a spirit of discomposure the teacher clamantly exclaimed "well all other theories are deemed less important or unacceptable as to inclusion in our present studies" ... Lamar continued the exchange "is that 'God created man in his own image' included with those 'deemed less important or unacceptable as to inclusion'?" ... "of course not!" she sternly proclaimed ... "then it certainly must be fact!" adjudged Lamar ... "I wouldn't go as far as to say that!" returned the teacher.
The adversarial discourse continued "then accordingly, it would make little difference if I were to covet other folks' belongings ... bear false witness ... rob and steal ... commit adultery ... murder ... disrespect my mother and father ... forget the Sabbath ... take God's name in vain ... worship idols ... or other gods?" enquired Lamar ... "no, but what has all that to do with the curriculum at hand?" demanded the teacher ... "because those commandments were given to us from God, and were recorded in the Bible ... the same Bible that says we were created in His image ... if evolution is true, then either God is an ape, or He is a liar(neither of which He is!) ... why then should the commandments be adhered to, much less anything else set forth within His Holy Word? ... if one were to regard one part of the Bible as false, how then can any part be held as truth?" deduced Lamar "including all the practical teachings concerning love, kindness, faith, honesty, long-suffering, compassion, grace, mercy and good-will toward our fellow man as mentioned in the 'Sermon on the Mount' among others?" he added ... the teacher was now at her wits end "I'm not going to argue with you Mister Beefeater ... I am mandated by the school system to teach you exactly what is approved and contained within your textbooks ... that is that ... now kindly take your seat ... and be quiet!?"
Lamar obediently complied and promptly took his seat ... but his mind was anything but quiet ... he had at once slammed solidly into the realization that he could no longer take for granted that everything which issued forth from the mouths of his educators should be unimpeachable or true ... he had emphatically rejected this "theory of evolution" so insolently thrust upon him by direction of the public school system, and which was by all odds diametrically opposed to his tenets of faith ... he refused to approbate such foolishness ... therefore, he thenceforth never again accepted nor embraced any teaching or instruction at face value simply because it might perchance be put forth by some "official figure of authority or governmentally-mandated text" ... and although "readin' , writin' and 'rithmetic" were definite absolutes, anything beyond that would from then on require and demand his fervent attention and utmost consideration ... often it isn't the overall bulk of one's educational journey or development that most determines one's eventual destination, position and outlook on life ... it's usually those fleeting and seemingly insignificant instances that most drastically affect us ... such as Lamar Beefeater's aforementioned experience ... consequently, he developed into an even more prodigiously independent thinker ... a stalwart and unshakable apologist as to verity and common sense ... we are each entitled to our personal beliefs and opinions, along with their respective consequences, therefore, I would hope that this narrative should at the least evoke a bit of thought and confabulation ...