Wednesday, August 18, 2010
High Suspense ...
It's that time of year again that county and state fairs along with various carnivals of all sorts can be seen all across the country ... which reminded Lamar Beefeater of an experience he and his lifelong pal Luther DooLittle had at one such carnival many years ago when they were both just young lads ... seems the odd couple had earned a few extra dollars doing odd chores for Uncle Virgil Hunnicutt and Grandpa DooLittle that summer, and those dollars had been burning holes in their britches ever since ... so what better way to spend ready cash than at a carnival?
So here's the story as recounted by Lamar Beefeater ... the boys had eagerly climbed out of their beds early that morning and headed out toward the carnival which had just set up at the town square, just as waking roosters began sounding their familiar alarms at the rapidly rising sun ... their plan being to spend the entire day getting rid of every cent they had by ravenously consuming every snow cone, big drink, hot dog, corn dog, candy apple, cotton candy, pop corn, buffalo wing, peanut, ice cream cone, elephant ear, honey bun and bloomin' onion they could get their hands on ... whatever time they had left had been designated for playing games and winning prizes on the midway, and then riding the less than lethal kiddie rides such as bumper cars, the merry-go-round and maybe even a turn on the frighteningly high, double Ferris wheel ... so Luther and Lamar straightaway commenced to partake of the festivities at hand!
To make what could potentially be a drawn-out story somewhat less monotonous, the enthusiastic pair's plan had been carried out just as originally designed ... they had unashamedly devoured every beverage and food item from their list, some more than once ... they had participated in every game found on the midway resulting in Lamar winning a rabbit's foot and Luther a yellow, rubber, bathtub duckie ... and they had ridden every kiddie ride except for that double Ferris wheel ... seems Luther had abruptly developed some trepidations as to this contraption's extreme height after giving it a bit of closeup, visual scrutiny, and had arrived at the wholesome conclusion that the only way he would climb on that thing was if he was tightly blindfolded ... so Lamar blindfolded Luther with his handkerchief and they got in line to board the towering ride ... now Lamar's intentions were to sit in the same seat with Luther so he could keep an eye peeled on him during the ride ... unfortunately just as Lamar climbed into the basket a small boy pushed his way ahead of Luther and jumped right in beside of Lamar just as the attendant secured the restraining bar ... before Lamar had time to produce any protestations the impatient attendant had advanced the baskets so as to load the other remaining wheel with anxious passengers thus sending Lamar and his new friend ahead to the highest apex ... now having nobody to assist, Luther just stood there as everybody quickly boarded that last wheel ahead of him ... finally there was but one empty basket remaining ... "ain't you gonna ride or not young feller? ... and why you got that bandanner coverin' yer eyes? ... how you gonna enjoy this here ride like that?" asked the nonindulgent attendant as he firmly grasped Luther by the back of his neck while forcefully thrusting the confused boy into the last seat all by himself ... "cause I'm scared half to death, that's why!" countered Luther ... "so why you gonna ride it then?" added the now slightly amused attendant ... "cause I don't want no folks thinkin' I'm a danged chicken, that's why!" retorted Luther ... "well then hang on boy!" exclaimed the now extremely bemused attendant as he slammed the bar down on Luther's basket with a loud clank and revved that rusty, old wheel up to full speed!