Monday, July 5, 2010

Of Mice And Man ...


Uncle Virgil Hunnicutt ... all but deaf and well-nigh blind ... rumoured to be well above one hundred years of age and a near genius, dazzlingly skilled in any field with an astronomically immense IQ ... sat at the dinner table ... before him a large bowlful of hot grits covered with clumps of melting creamery butter piled high atop ... to one side a platter bearing a stack of crisp, apple-cured bacon, along with a pitcher of thick gravy made from its grease ... strategically placed on the other side was a tall glassful of fresh buttermilk, and a tray loaded down with homemade biscuits also coated with that tantalizing butter ... a jarful of elderberry jam at the ready ... Virgil could hardly wait to thrill his restless tastebuds and dig in ...

Just as Virgil was about to dip into the toothsome contents of that bowl with his spoon he heard what sounded like light scuffling ... seemingly out of nowhere approached a tiny mouse skittering apace across the table and right up to the edge of that bowl which held the grits .. it then perched on its hindquarters while leaning over the bowl's brim for a better look and a whiff of the steaming fare ... its elongated front teeth, beady eyes, exceptionally long whiskers and tail and over-sized ears made the diminutive critter appear more than a bit cartoonish ... suddenly Uncle Virgil thought he could hear the faint sound of a voice speaking to him ... he looked down at that little mouse which was quizzically peering back up at him with its piercing eyes ... surely not thought Virgil ... then setting all doubts aside Virgil heard the squeaky voice yet again, although now clearly and loudly "I say, excuse me sir, please forgive my forwardness ... but those grits smell delightful ... may I impose upon your manifest kindness and generosity ... and have a taste for myself?" said the mouse ...

Uncle Virgil quickly put down his spoon and slid his chair away from the table ...then looking all around the cramped yet tidy kitchen he made sure nobody else was there before he replied "but of course, help yourself" ... at which the lilliputian rodent stuck his long snout right into those grits gulping down a huge mouthful ... "exquisite ... absolutely scrumptious ... much better than stale bread crumbs and orange peels from off the dirty floor ... perfectly cooked ... my compliments to the chef! proclaimed the mouse ... "may I have some more, and would you mind if my wife joined us?" the bantam creature presumptuously enquired as a daintier mouse crept nervously toward her mate ... the ever charitable Virgil complied "but of course, eat your fill ... by the way, if I may but be so bold as to ask your names?" ... the mouse again pulled his snout from the bowl, his whiskers now coated with butter and grits as he answered "my apologies sir, I suppose the aroma emanating from this delectable food must have stymied my good manners ... my name is Rickie, and this is my dear wife Ginnie" ... Virgil now more at ease responded in kind "glad to meet you both ... my name is Virgil Hunnicutt ... welcome to my home" ... "do you have any children?" he added ... "why yes we do, four in fact, they're called Eenie, Meanie, Miny and Moe ... they're now hiding 'neath the table with their friends, may they dine too?" begged the mouse ... "sure they may, there's plenty enough for everyone" exclaimed Virgil as four baby mice rushed toward the grub ... well before Virgil realized it there were hundreds of mice attacking and consuming his dinner as he looked down to see but a single spoonful of grits and a dab of butter left untouched in the bottom of the bowl ... "better eat up" quipped the mouse "before it's all gone!" ... Virgil grabbed his spoon scooping up the last of the grits and just as he brought it to his lips -- he awakened in a cold sweat bolting upright in his bed from the disconcerting nightmare ... his covers twisted in knots ... his overstuffed stomach roiling and rumbling ...

Uncle Virgil Hunnicutt came to a couple of solid conclusions that early morning just afore sunrise ... he would never again consume bacon, gravy, grits or buttermilk right before retiring to bed for the night ... and he would adopt a cat the very next day ... a good "mouser" if one could be had -- just in case!


--sja

22 comments:

Pam said...

This is a great story. Yep, eating heavy before retiring for the evening is not a good idea. LOL My mother grew up in the 30s and she told me of a "pet mouse" she and her younger brother used to play with. She was really sad when suddenly it stopped appearing. Once again, you've managed to capture my attention with another riveting story. :) Pam @ Sallygoodin

BOB said...

Goodness!!

Thank you!

sja said...

I appreciate every comment I get from my readers ... and now they're not appearing after Blogger notifies me via email that I do have comments ... thanks alot Blogger!

BOB said...

What happened? All I said was "goodness!"

My guess is that it was the grits, especially if Uncle Virgil was tired and had the store-bought, instant kind ... bacon, gravy, buttermilk and good hotwater cornbread is always good as a bedtime snack!

Wonderful post!!

Sheri said...

Great story! Just the smell of fried fish gives me nightmares. No kidding!

BOB said...

My computer shows 1 comments but there seem to be none ... maybe I'm dreaming like Uncle Virgil but I don't eat grits!

BOB said...

Well, now it shows both comments ... the post is worthy of many, many more!

sja said...

Thanks Bob for the comments, both of them ...your first disappeared along with mine and Pam's from Blogfrog ...

Sunny Day said...

Love your stories. I wish I could write as well as you do.

sja said...

Well it looks as though Blogger has corrected the "comments disappearing" glitch, for now ... so a blanket thank you to Pam ... Sheri ... Sunny Day & Bob for all the generous comments!

BOB said...

Sunny Day, I'll bet I could write that well if I had Luther and Lamar living up the Holler and Uncle Virgil sharing his dreams!

The Jackass has more material than President Jimmy has pills ... more than Aunt Jane's St. Mary's Meade has murders ... yes, even more than Jessica's little Down East Cabot Cove!

If that weren't enough, he knows how to use more big words than Bill Buckley ... it's unfair!

Jireh Ministries Foundation, Inc said...

Thank You again for another great story!

sja said...

Jireh Ministries Foundation, Inc -- thanks again ... glad you enjoy them ...

BOB said...

Has anyone else experienced problems with the "language Translator" widget?

For me, it works fine when I select a language ... but, if I try to then select a different one ... or return to English, it malfunctions.

sja said...

Bob -- no problem with the translators that I can find ...

BOB said...

When I switch to Deutsch, it works great ... fantastic translation too!

However, when I click on another flag or try to go back to English, it refreshes but the German is still there.

Probably a problem with my setup ...

After serving our country, getting married and stuff like, I returned home for a visit to find that my baby brother, who's also my oldest, was keeping a pet Boa in his bedroom ... confined to a huge aquarium, at least that was the solemn promise that got it its visa.

Even so, I was shocked that Mama would allow snakes in her house ... we're not oriental but you took your shoes off before entering the livingroom, lest a piece of dirt might get on the carpet!

Billy proudly explained all about the snake ... for several hours ... while "Willie" remained lethargic, almost motionless ... and when it did move, it made a terrapin seem like a hare by comparison.

Well, he then took me out to Fort McApache, a 6 by 16 storage room inside the garage ... baby brother was raising white mice too!

He picked one out ... "supper for Willie" he said. Back inside, he placed the mouse in the far end of the aquarium, well away from the Boa.

Willie remained motionless, as per usual ... apparently unaware of the mouse's presence.

Maybe he just wasn't hungry ... but it was strange to see the lilliputian
mouse and the brobdingnagian snake living together in total harmony.

Billy was disappointed but I was impressed!

However, peace in our time it was ... in about five minutes a bolt of lightning struck the poor little mouse, slamming it against the side of the aquarium.

It must have been lightning ... though I saw it with me own eyes ... ain't no way that snake could be that swift, but it was!

Unbelievable!

Had Willie not been hungry, Billy would have removed the mouse so as to protect his prized Boa ... yes, the tiny rodent would have felled the giant serpent, methinks!

sja said...

Bob -- possibly the Google Translator would work better for you rather than the Flag Translator beneath it ... neither of which would be of any service to that white mouse ...

CherylT said...

Awesome. Congratulations on winning the Sunshine Award. This story is one of the reasons it is so well-deserved.

http://crassconstruction.blogspot.com/2010/07/todays-linky-suddenly-susan-and-sunhine.html

sja said...

Why thank you CherylT ... I'm not too sure what the Sunshine Award consists of ... but the sun sure has been hot these last few days!

rockriverstitches said...

I loved this story! Good message about eating before going to bed!

Tammy

sja said...

Thank you Tammy ... I too am guilty of overt gluttony before succumbing to the throes of sleep, could be one reason I have all these harlequinade imaginations running around in my brain!

Marla said...

Grits before bedtime. That explains it! lol