Dancin' With The Devil! ...

Grandpa and Grandma DooLittle had just finished eating supper, so while Grandma was busy cleaning up the mess, Grandpa decided to ease on out to the barn and "sample" a bit of his homemade, hard apple cider that he kept hidden between a big pile of straw and stacks of baled hay ... he found one of his jugs, removed the cork and drizzled a stream of the delicious concoction onto his eager taste buds and down his gullet ... "across my teeth and past my gums, look out belly here it comes!" ... oh that stuff was good, and the more he "sampled" it the better it tasted, no sense stopping now ... so before Grandpa realized it, he was starting to feel his oats ... his ears began to ring ... his face heated up, and sweat began popping out all over his body 'till his clothes were drenched ... his eyes got blurry and his head went "round the bend" ... so he corked up his jug and sat down for a little spell.

The next thing Grandpa knew, an enormous, dark figure stood before him as pitch black as midnight at the height of a new moon ... his sinister eyes glowing like hot coals in a raging blast furnace ... long, pointed tail ... sharp, curved horns protruding from his wrinkled forehead ... a sizzling poker in one hand, a four-pronged pitchfork in the other ... when he spoke, a thick vapor of vile smoke spewed into the evening air ... "Old man! ... Old man!! ... why are you drinking from my jug?" ... poor ol' Grandpa DooLittle was nearly speechless, but managed to ask the beast his name ... "Why I'm Lucifer! ... and you've been sipping from my jug ... you owe me old man ... and now you must pay!" ... "but how?" begged Grandpa as the Devil roared in hideous laughter ... "Why you'll dance with me old man, you'll barn dance ...and if you don't dance, and dance well ... you'll go with me, you'll go with me back to Hell! ... now rise to your feet and follow along!"

Grandpa slowly stood up and began to dance as best he could, and as Lucifer called out the dance he took turns poking the piteous, old drunkard in the gut with that blistering poker and cracking him over the head with the pitchfork handle ... "dance old man ... faster, dance faster ... if you want to avoid your fate, get yourself straight ... better not wait, best not be late ...swing your partner, swing me hard ... allemande left in your own barnyard ... right and left all around that hay ... meet your partner, meet me halfway ... keep on dancin' 'till the break of day ... swing that jug way up high,swing that jug way down low ... now turn that jug loose, and I'll let you go! ... now you're straight ... you're free to go and do-si-do ... stay out of my jug ... if you want to stay out of my Hell! ... Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!!!"

Grandpa DooLittle woke up lying face down in the middle of that big heap of straw shaking all over like a leaf in a wind storm, still clutching his now empty cider jug in his trembling hand ... his head was throbbing something awful, and his stomach burned like fire ... he sat up and looked all around, then cautiously called out "Lucifer ... where are you Lucifer?" ... but there was no reply ... nobody else was there ... just Bessie the milk cow chewing her cud as she stared at him in a state of wonderment ... as soon as Grandpa was certain Satan had gone, he sprang to his feet, slammed that jug against his big iron anvil shattering it to pieces, then ran like a scalded rabbit toward the house ... by this time Grandma DooLittle had gone to bed, knowing that Grandpa was most likely outside sipping on those spirits ... he tried to sneak into the bedroom, but Grandma was wide awake and waiting for him as usual ... "where've you been old man, you've been gone for hours?" she inquired ... "oh, I just went for a walk out by the barn, that good supper made be sleepy, so I took me a nap in the hay" he said ... Grandma knew all the while where he'd been and what he'd been doing and so replied "Sure you did! ... but if you don't quit your lying, and stop drinking that cider ... one day you'll end up dancin' with the Devil!"

--sja