Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Leon Takes The Fall ...


Ol' Blue's hapless escapade in the story "Sloughfoot's Ghost" brings to memory yet another calamitous incident involving a canine, Luther DooLittle's own Redbone coonhound called "Leon" ... with Luther DooLittle's Redbone ... his Mama Mamie's white poodle known as "Minnie" ... and Grandpa DooLittle's Bluetick affectionately named "Blue" ... the DooLittle clan appeared to be one of the most patriotic families in the county ... anyhow, Luther borrowed his daddy's old Dodge pickup truck, reason being that he and Lamar Beefeater were going to haul a load of firewood to the Widow VanMeter's place on the other side of town, but in actuality the boys were going to transport 10 gallons of the widow's homemade "tonic," hide it in the root cellar behind Lamar's house ... then just sip on it occasionally ... so Luther boosted Leon up into the cab of the truck, then he climbed in, slid beneath the wheel, and off to Lamar's place they sped ... after picking up Lamar, the trio proceeded to the Widow VanMeter's house and acquired the tonic, then they headed back toward town -- sipping all the way!

Needless to say, by the time the boys made it back to the Beefeater's root cellar to hide what was left of their cargo, they were really feeling their oats -- and the affects of all that "greased lightning" they'd been drinking ... well Luther reckoned he should get back to the house forthwith with his daddy's truck, which was probably a good idea, in theory ... however, Luther's sense of time and space as it related to his position in the universe was playing tricks on him as he weaved back and forth up the road as fast and as hard as that tired Dodge truck would allow ... unfortunately, none of this went unnoticed by the Widow VanMeter's nephew, Sheriff Clarence A. VanMeter, who was hidden as usual behind a huge billboard at the edge of the highway which advertised Sunbeam enriched bread.

Now Clarence was a fairly proficient sheriff, as sheriffs go ... however, Clarence A. VanMeter was nearly as blind as a bat, and wore glasses with lenses as thick as the bottoms of glass Coke bottles ... consequently, Sheriff VanMeter was only able to determine that it was the DooLittle's rattletrap of a truck that had raced past him nearly peeling the big gold star from off the door of his police car, but he wasn't able to see who the driver was ... but Sheriff Clarence A. VanMeter was now officially in hot pursuit! ... now it was just getting dark, and Luther could see the flashing blue lights behind him in his rear view mirrors, and could hear the shrill siren's mournful cry ... the pursuer and the pursued both had their respective peddles to the metal, but the sheriff's big V8 was beginning to close the gap between he and Luther ... luckily, at that moment, Luther turned off the paved highway onto the dirt road leading home, leaving Sheriff VanMeter in a cloud of choking, thick dust ... Luther slid the overheating, straining Dodge through the gate and onto the DooLittle lawn ... then jumped out, slammed the door shut behind him and ran toward the house to hide.

All the while, poor Leon the Redbone coonhound had been lying on the floorboard of the truck scared nearly out of his wits ... when Luther bailed out, he had forgotten all about his closest friend and prized huntin' dog, now trapped inside the cab of the truck ... I think you already know the rest of the story ... but for those who may not ... after the dust had settled and the sheriff had regained his regular composure, along with a smidgen of sight, he flew up that road and skidded to a halt right up against the bumper of the previously fleeing suspect vehicle ... then quickly jumped out to effect an arrest ... by this time, Luther's daddy had interpreted what was taking place, and had already apprehended Luther by the back of the neck, angrily jostling the intoxicated, stumbling young man along in the direction of the sheriff's flashing blue lights ... just as proud father and wayward son approached Sheriff VanMeter, who was now standing just outside the cab of the truck, Luther's daddy heard the sheriff say ... "and boy, it's a doggone good thing you ain't been drinkin' like your twin brother there, else you wouldn't be gettin' off with just a speedin' ticket ... you'd be on your way to jail!"


--sja

10 comments:

reyah said...

hi, nice blog.

sja said...

Thank you Reyah ... visit often ...

nothingprofound said...

Love the funny names and descriptions. You have a style all your own.

sja said...

Not just a style Nothingprofound ... a 'lifestyle' ...

Fatima Da aka Fatibony said...

Big Mama made me laugth ..grt blog and funny

sja said...

Fatima Da aka Fatibony - thank you very much, glad you enjoy the stories ... visit often and say hello, more funny stuff to come ...

Anonymous said...

I HAVE ENJOYED THIS BLOG IN SUCH
A BROGDINGNAGIAN WAY!! LOL

BOB said...

That fellow anonymous sure gets around ... must be a surname, too many to be the same one!

Anonymous said...

THIS IS MY FIRST OF MANY VISITS
TO THIS BLOG. I'VE ENJOYED IT IMMENSLEY. THE SOUTHERN JACKASS IS IN A CLASS OF HIS OWN.

BOB said...

Hey Anon, How much is he paying you?

He is indeed in a class all his own ... the teachers insisted, you know!